I was so grateful that the lameness only presented when in work, so he was still comfortable in his field and could enjoy a happy retirement. I was also so grateful that our relationship could continue in a non ridden sense, with grooming and just being with him, something we both enjoyed.

It took me quite some time to get used to the fact that our ridden partnership was no more. I realised I was grieving for the end of that aspect of our relationship and the unfulfilled plans I had for us. I missed the connection that comes from a ridden partnership and how I felt when I was riding this truly special boy.

Friends encouraged me to take lessons, but I had no interest. I rode for the connection, the relationship, the partnership with another sentient being. I couldn’t imagine how I could experience that in a half an hour lesson, on a horse I didn’t know.

As time passed, I started to adjust to the change.  A friend who had come off her horse and was ‘out of action’ for a while offered me her horse to ride. I took her up on her kind offer and started to have some lessons on her. I enjoyed the lessons and connecting once again with a horse in this way. A beautiful strong cob mare, she was much more forward than my boy. Whilst we started out well and I embraced her forwardness, a few weeks later I ended up on my bottom in a stubble field, after she shifted up the gears, when I wasn’t expecting it. The experience threw me. She told me afterwards ‘you need help’.  At the time I wasn’t quite sure what she meant, but now I understand!

A month or so later and after a few what I call ‘nudges from the Universe’ I decided that I would start lessons at a local riding school. The school had been recommended to me by two different freelance riding instructors, so I decided I’d give it a try. With the hope of having some fun and improving my competency and confidence for my next riding partner, I booked up some lessons.

I’m so grateful for those nudges and so glad that I booked that first lesson. In the six months I’ve been having lessons there I’ve had the opportunity to ride a number of very special horses. I’ve found that over time I’ve come to understand them and form relationships with each of them, at some level.

Together with my teacher, someone who really understands the horses she has in the school and who ‘speaks my language’, this team have taught me so much. I’ve learnt (and indeed still am learning!) how to be a more balanced rider, how subtle changes in my body can assist the horse and how to adapt to riding different horses.  I’ve come to understand in greater depth the riding partnership and so importantly I have learnt about myself.

I hadn’t been aware of the ‘baggage’ about riding I was carrying when I first arrived at the school. I often liken our ‘baggage’ to computer programmes. It can be there, like a computer programme, running in the background. Not only can it use our energy, it can affect our behaviour and also how others respond to us. Sometimes we’re aware of it, sometimes we aren’t.

Over the initial weeks it became apparent that I had a few ‘programmes’ running! The horses were helping me to see this.  I’ve observed many times in my communication work how animals help us in this way. When we have a ‘programme’ running that we’re not consciously aware of they often bring this information to light for us. Over the years I’ve communicated with birds, cats, dogs and horses that have all shed insight into such aspects for their people. I’ve also found that often horses can bring these aspects up for us most intensely.

Because animals connect with us at a feeling level their ‘read’ of us is based on our energy, not just the words that come out of our mouths. This means they’re aware of our true feelings, even when we try to hide them. It’s why we don’t need to tell them when we’ve had a challenging day, they just know. It’s also why they might seemingly ‘act up’ when we’re in a bad mood, playing out how we are feeling. This is why they can be so good at showing us our ‘programmes’ and even those that we may not be aware of. Each animal is an individual, so some may highlight aspects of our energy that others don’t.

I was aware how the experience with my friend’s mare had knocked my confidence. I was aware of my ‘stuff’ that I’d been working on, prior to the gelding I’d been riding becoming lame. Over the weeks and months that followed, the horses I rode at the school brought different things into focus for me. They helped me to recognise the patterns and issues that weren’t serving me. So much for my simple agenda of fun, confidence and competence, the horses knew what I needed from these lessons.

In my personal experience I’ve sometimes found it difficult letting go of old ‘stuff’. In my work with animals, I’ve come to understand how often they do this more easily than us. My learnings on that subject could be the topic of another blog. Suffice to say for now I’ll just leave it as ‘I think we can learn from them’ in that respect.

I love how the synchronicity of life can work.  Over the last twelve months I’ve been training in personal energy clearing. I came across it in Autumn 2020. Initially I used it as a tool for me and my animal family. I found it a gentle and effective way to rebalance my system and release old patterns and ‘energetic baggage’.

I was so ‘wowed’ by how helpful I found it to be for myself, I decided to train to become certified in it, so I could offer it to both people and animals. My training in this work has been running alongside my lessons with the horses.  Thanks to this synchronicity, many unhelpful ‘programmes’ have cleared over this time. This has helped me to become a more balanced rider in an emotional sense too.

One day, one of the wonderful geldings I’d been riding in the school told me ‘Your mind is so clear’.  I could feel how much easier he was finding the connection with me.  I found it both wonderful and fascinating that that week I had felt a particularly big shift in a clearing session I’d had for myself.

I started to feel in my riding lessons that I was more often finding the level of ‘being present’ that I held in my communication sessions. I’d had the goal of bringing more of the ‘presence’ I felt in my communication sessions into other aspects of my life for some time. As I became more present in my lessons and less caught up in old patterns, the clearer my mind and the clearer the communication with the horses in the lessons.

One day, in a lesson with a thoroughbred gelding we had been working on my body alignment and he had been giving me very helpful feedback through communication and with the responses in his body. Spending time with him afterwards I thanked him for helping me, his response ‘I didn’t help you, you helped yourself’.

Over the following weeks and months in my lessons there were nudges to bring back ‘on line’ parts of my body, to recognise what was happening with aspects of my energy and sometimes to remember to breathe! But behind all that, the consistently repeating question from the horses was ‘Where is your focus?’ and their guidance ‘Step into the present, here with me.’ 

It hasn’t just been the horses at the riding school that have helped me over this time. Whilst I have been looking for my next riding partner, I have learnt something from all the horses I have met.  An experience that touched me deeply was meeting a wonderful thoroughbred, ex racer, gelding. 

The moment I saw him in the field with his field mates I knew which one he was. When I walked up to him and put on his headcollar to bring him in it was like I’d known him all my life.  He had recently arrived in his new home, where he was going to be retrained. From our first meeting we had a deep connection.  

However, a relative novice myself and with him an ex racer (and a pretty outstanding one at that) both the lady retraining him and I weren’t sure if we were going to be right for each other in a ridden sense. The lady retraining him, another wonderful person, who ‘speaks my language’, loves and cares for the horses she works with as if they are her own and always finds the best homes for them.

Over the following months I was able to visit him when I wished to, sometimes just for cuddles and time with him. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to ride him twice. The first time initially I was a bag of nerves. The second time I felt something shift in me. I arrived back home that day feeling like I’d embraced an aspect of my energy that I hadn’t been able to until now.

The love I felt for him was without question, I know we were meant to meet, yet it didn’t feel that at this stage our relationship was to continue in a ridden sense. He’s now in his new home and I wish him so much love and happiness there. I feel so lucky to have had the privilege to meet and learn from him.

Twelve months ago, I was in blissful ignorance of how events were about to unfold. How they did was certainly not the vision I held for the future for me and the horse in my life. However, as I write this, I’m grateful that he’s happy and settled in his well deserved retirement. I have such gratitude for my experiences and for the people and the horses that I’ve met over this time and what I‘ve learnt from them.

I might not have known what I needed when this change came about, but as I’ve so often found in my life and my work, the animals have the answers, if we pause to listen.

For me, this time, these horses knew.

Since he transitioned in September this year, I’ve felt gentle intuitive nudges to share some of our story. Writing this has been a slow process. Much like Chuck and I on some of our walks in his latter months, I’ve had no sense to rush 😉! I know that writing this helps me and perhaps sharing it may help others too.

Chuck first came into our lives in Spring 2011.  Matt was waiting to start a new job and wanted to do something useful, so he had decided to go and volunteer at a local dog rescue centre. Chuck was the first dog he walked there.  I remember him coming home and telling me ‘I’ve walked the Arnold Schwarzenegger of dogs today’ and showing me a picture of Chuck, a big and well-muscled lurcher.

Matt walked lots of other dogs over the following weeks but clearly Chuck had touched him. He suggested that I might like to meet him too. So, one Saturday we went over to the rescue centre together and I met this special boy.  As soon as Matt handed me his lead I was overcome with emotion. I found his energy incredible, he had such a strong and reassuring presence. I remember saying to Matt that walking next to Chuck was like having a big brother alongside me.

The next time I met Chuck I went to greet him myself as he was led out from the kennels. As he looked up into my eyes he shared ‘I know you’.  I knew this wasn’t just him recognising me at a physical level, it was deeper than that. In that moment I knew that he and I had a special connection, a deep soul connection.  Chuck became an integral part of our lives. Every weekend and whenever else we could, we would go and walk him, we both loved being with him.

At the time we were living in rented accommodation, whilst building work on our house was being completed, so couldn’t offer Chuck a home. The rescue had previously homed him, but he had been brought back to them because he kept trying to get out of the house. The rescue said he was very happy in the kennels, so much so that they used him to help other dogs that weren’t settling there. Because of this they felt he needed a kennel and run in his new home, so that he could live outside.

One day, over 18 months after we had first met Chuck, when the building work on our house was nearing completion, I was stood with him, chatting with the owner of the dog rescue. She was saying he was the nicest dog in the rescue and she didn’t understand why he was still there. We discussed possible reasons such as his size, he was a very large dog or his need to live outside, which wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea and not everyone was in a position to offer. In that moment Chuck shared with me ‘I can live outside at Hilly’. ‘Hilly’ was the nickname for our home. Over the following weeks I gently wore Matt down. Eventually he agreed and I started looking into suitable kennel options.  

In December 2013 Chuck came to join our family.  He didn’t settle initially. This was hardly surprising given he’d been living in the kennels for over 2 years. We spent the first 3 months of his life with us moving him between our home and the rescue centre on a daily basis. Over this period we gradually extended the length of time he spent at ‘Hilly’ each day until he was happily here all day and for ‘sleep overs’. 

Over this time I got to know the road between our home and the rescue centre very well.  I still associate the road very strongly with Chuck. It amuses me somewhat that on that road there’s now a van selling refreshments called ‘The Chuck stop’! The rescue centre were amazingly helpful and supportive until he was with us full time. It was not until much later on, through my communications with him, that I came to understand some of the reason behind his difficulty settling and his wish not to live in a house.

Chuck became the catalyst for us exploring more of the Norfolk countryside.  Matt used to love finding new routes for us to walk.  Chuck was so happy in the car we could travel for miles and miles with him quite contentedly.  Thanks to Chuck we would be out in the countryside or exploring most weekends. Sometimes our seaside walks would end with fish and chips, always shared 3 ways!

Matt wished for Chuck to be in the house with us, but I knew it wasn’t what he wanted.  I knew how sensitive he was to his surrounding and that there would be too much stimulus in the home for him to be settled. Later I came to understand that his desire to be outside was not only because of his sensitivity, but also linked to an earlier traumatic experience.

He loved to walk and so walk and walk he and I did. People who saw us out used to comment on how we seemed to cover miles. We did! Chuck and I would have two long walks a day and that was our routine. Matt lived away from home for work during the week and Chuck offered me great company. We would walk and ‘chat’. I loved our time together. Chuck was happy to walk whatever the weather. I can count on one hand the number of times he refused a walk because of the weather.

He became very well known and loved in our local neighbourhood, with people usually more interested in greeting him than me! He was a people magnet and had a big fan club who loved to stroke him, from toddlers through to pensioners. People would cross the road to come and see him.

Despite being a big dog small children were drawn to him and he would stand patiently whilst they patted his head and stroked him.  There was something about Chuck that instilled a calmness and confidence in people. Chuck helped my niece overcome her fear of dogs.  When she first met him she didn’t want to be close to him, but after a couple of days of being around him she was cuddling and kissing him and insisting on helping to hold his lead.  Within the year my sister’s family had a dog of their own. I can think of other families with children whose experience of meeting Chuck helped to build their confidence with dogs and now have their own dogs too.

Chuck didn’t just work his magic with Children though. I recall one time when a lady came up to Matt and I and said she was scared of dogs. She then asked if she could stroke Chuck. He didn’t move a muscle whilst she did. It was a touching moment.

For a sighthound he had an amazing nose on him and the ability to sniff out something tasty at 40 paces. I lost count of how many times I would find myself trying to remove something he had found to snack on after his head had disappeared into a hedge.  The most memorable was a whole jam donut, that was a messy experience!

Chuck had the most amazing eyes that just oozed love and that remained a constant.  I recall our vet commenting, just months prior to his transition, about how clear his eyes were for his age. His eyes would follow you around and when you looked at him, he really looked back at you, like he was looking deep into your soul. He wasn’t in your face with affection, instead he emitted a consistent flow of love that everyone who met him or interacted with him felt.

Over the years he changed not only in physical appearance but as an individual too and so did Matt and I. I believe we all learnt from each other, but I think mostly we learnt from him.

One of the most noticeable changes I felt in him was an opening up to become more and more receptive to cuddles and affection. It was wonderful to feel this change in him. I noticed how when I was out walking him more and more people would mistake him for a female dog. I knew that was because of the softening I had felt in him, this increased receptivity.

In 2018 he gave us a bit of a shock when he ended up at a referral vet after an acute mobility issue. All his scans were clear, but he was diagnosed with underactive thyroid. Thankfully he made a good recovery and we started to enjoy our long walks again.

Over the year and a half prior to his transition he started to show signs of aged related mobility issues. Alongside excellent vet care we sought support for him with hydrotherapy, chiropractic treatment, physiotherapy and acupuncture.  We changed where we were walking, finding soft surfaces with interest, rather than street walking and our walks became shorter. One of our favourite places to walk became some local woods.  Our walks became less about covering distance and more about ambling and taking everything in. I noticed how our walks were going from ‘doing’ to much more ‘being’. 

As Chuck was needing more support it was necessary to bring him into the home in order to be able to care for him properly. We did this gradually over a period of months starting with just meal times, until eventually he was comfortable to be in our main living area with us.  It was so precious to have him in the home with us after all this time. The cats adapted so well and were so loving and caring with him it was a joy to see.  The fact he was able to do this was a reflection of the fact that he was overcoming his early life trauma and allowing healing.

As the changes in him continued we felt into the situation on a daily basis. Chuck was such a determined dog and ‘Team Chuck’ worked hard to support him however we best could. 

People were passing comment about it being ‘his time’ and although their comments were well intentioned, I could feel a strong resistance in him to that path. So, I trusted that the time wasn’t yet and we continued to do all we could for him.  I felt a very strong sense to go inward during this time and screen out external ‘noise’.  To some I may have looked like I was avoiding the situation, but I was wanting to ensure I was following Chuck’s wishes and my inner guidance not other’s views.

A few weeks before he transitioned, I had the sense that we needed to see where he settled without too much intervention. We stopped the weekly acupuncture. I felt that one of the medications we had him on was making him less stable on his legs, so we gradually reduced that and then stopped it.  I’d noticed a heaviness in him that I couldn’t access and then one day he told me ‘There is energy in my field that needs clearing’. I asked him if it would help him if it was cleared and his reply was ‘It will help us all’.  I had an energy clearing carried out for him that week.  The difference in him after the clearing was palpable. I felt the resistance to transitioning and entering his next phase had softened and whilst I didn’t know when it would be, it felt imminent.

In his last week he and I would just sit together for hours in a serene state.  I came to understand this was about holding space for things to unfold and that I had to just allow and not try to control things.  We were both holding space for one another. It was a partnership.

There was something that had been hindering him physically and all of us (Matt, Chuck and I) felt this needed to be explored and that that would determine the flow. So, we asked for help from some animal health professionals.  I believe in miracles and at one level part of me was wishing for one.  I had to recognise that desire in me and trust the answers that were given. So, with the information we’d been given about his body we sat as a family and talked about what it meant.  At this time I started to feel how his energy had transcended the physical issue in his body, so I knew that his decision was made, it was purely about timing. Chuck had told me on numerous occasions that when the time came he would need help.

Matt and I had been taking it in turns to sleep by him at night time as he would wake in the night, often more than once. That night was the first night in a very long time that he had slept through all night, I had been with him and it had been such a peaceful and serene night.

The next morning after such a peaceful night Matt, Chuck and I sat together. Chuck wasn’t forcing us to make a decision. He trusted us. Matt and I knew we could extend this out if we sought to, but for who?  Us not Chuck. So, we as a family came to our decision.  There was a lot of emotion, in waves for both Matt and I, but it felt right. 

I was sitting quietly with Chuck later and he sensed a question in me and responded ‘sometimes it is just time’. With that for me, the serenity came. It was time to flow, allow and trust.  I arranged for the vet that had cared for Chuck for so many years to come to our home that evening to assist Chuck with his transition.

A few hours before there was the most incredible thunderstorm, it felt like a massive release of energy, and then during it as the sun shone a rainbow appeared over Chuck’s kennel. I knew it was confirmation that all was well.

His transition was very peaceful and Matt and I were with him. We placed with his beautiful body a symbol of hope for all of us from the prior few weeks. A bloom from the beautiful Dahlia that I grew for the first time this year. Over the prior month I’d watched the flowers bloom and fade, some taking time to unfold, some fading slowly, some fading quickly. Each one bringing me joy. I felt that in some way they were linked to the process with Chuck.

After all my years communicating with animals in spirit, I knew that we would always be connected. I also knew that as the emotion settled, I would feel Chuck’s presence more easily. However, knowing this ‘academically’ didn’t give me the peace I was seeking after his transition.

In fact I found as the days went on the emotions were coming more often. It was as if there were two distinct aspects of me playing out. The ‘deeper’ wiser part of me that knew that this was Chuck’s time and that all was as it was meant to be and felt at peace with the situation. However, my ‘emotional self’ was struggling to comprehend it and felt overwhelmed. It was as if there was a tug of war going on between these two aspects and as the days went on it felt like the emotional aspect was ‘winning’.

One day after a massive release of emotion I had clarity.  I realised I’d been trying to ‘dam up’ my feelings and as a result they were building and building.  I needed to acknowledge them and express them, and allow the emotion to flow but at the same time not get swept away by it.

I also recognised that I needed space from people whilst I processed. People were being kind and caring and understanding but it was as if my ‘emotional self’ became activated by their sympathy and their perspective on grief and loss. My natural sensitivity to other people’s feelings was amplifying things for me, so I needed space on my own without too much interaction with people, whilst I came into a place of greater balance.

I know nature is a place that helps me to find balance for myself and so I knew I had to get myself back out in nature again. The thought of walking in the woods where Chuck and I had spent so much time felt overwhelming, as did the thought of telling people who knew Chuck that walked there.  Yet I knew I just had to do it. So the next morning I got myself out. I met a fellow dog walker who knew Chuck and I.  We talked and hugged and the experience helped me with the initial hurdle of being there without Chuck.

The next few times I walked there the tears just flowed. Over the weeks as I have continued my woods walks, I’ve started to feel calmer. I feel that there is a less of a tug of war at play inside me. Some days I feel serene, like I did when Chuck and I used to walk there together, some days I feel joyful and some days I still feel sad. This morning I saw someone that I hadn’t told yet and respecting my need for space my reaction was to head straight into the woods, rather than stop to talk.

I’ve noticed on days when I am less emotional how I can feel Chuck’s presence with me more strongly. Sometimes it’s as if he’s an excited young dog bounding to and from me as I walk. Other days I can feel his energy as a calm presence walking alongside me. It was on one of these days that my memory went back to some months before when we had been in the woods. I recalled saying to him how I would miss him when he wasn’t walking with me anymore in these woods. As clear as the day that he told me he could live outside at Hilly he told me ‘I will always walk beside you’.

I tell myself those words quite often at the moment. I find it helpful and reassuring to do so. Especially on the days that I’m not as easily able to feel his presence. At the moment being in a nature is the place that I am most easily able to connect with him. So, a wonderful motivation to keep walking in the woods is that it enables me to feel his beautiful energy more easily.

I have such gratitude for this most amazing being. Our journey together has been full of richness and treasure and I believe that as he has ‘walked with us’ so we have ‘walked with him’, assisting one another on our respective paths. 

Very early on in knowing Chuck I asked him what the meaning of life was for him, his response was ‘peace’.

I believe in these past ten years we have all journeyed a little bit further along that path of peace together.

Let me share a perspective, based on what I understand from my work with animals. As always, I encourage you to take what feels right to you and lay aside what doesn’t.

For me, there are lots of things that make time with animals compelling, yet I feel the reason they’re so wonderful to be around is really quite simple.  Animals offer unconditional love and acceptance. Whatever’s going on for us, if we’re having a bad hair day, just want to stay in our PJs, if we’re out of enlightening conversation or we’re feeling particularly grumpy or sad, they’ll offer us love. In fact, they can be the most compassionate of carers when we’re ill or upset.

Animals observe our feelings and they may reflect them back to us at times, but they don’t judge them. I haven’t once come across an animal in a communication that’s told their person to ‘pull themselves together’ or ‘stop crying’ or reprimanded them for the way they are feeling towards someone.

I believe that’s why being around them can feel so comfortable and at times so healing. There’s something immensely powerful about ‘seeing’ the love and acceptance in an animal’s eyes when they look at us. This total acceptance for us ‘as we are’ allows us to be our selves. They show us we don’t need to behave a certain way, or hide the parts we feel are unacceptable or will be judged.  Something I believe we do with people, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously. 

When they reflect our feelings back to us, it can help us recognise and acknowledge them.  I’ve observed many times in communication sessions how animals can highlight feelings or even aspects of us that we’ve lost touch with.  We may have pushed them away, perhaps they were too painful, or hidden them away, perhaps we judged ourselves for having them. Maybe we had no one we felt we could share them with. It’s often emotions like anger and sadness and fear, ones we perceive as ‘negative’ that can evoke the responses ‘I shouldn’t feel this way’, ‘I just need to get over this’. Because of this we may deny them.

With the help of the animals I’ve worked with I’ve come to understand much more about the world of feelings and emotions. I’ve observed that when we deny our feelings they’re still ‘with us’. If you’ve ever experienced a time when you’ve asked a friend if they were ok and they’ve said ‘yes’, yet you’ve distinctly felt they weren’t, that illustrates the point. They might have been attempting to appear ok, but their feelings were saying something different.

There’s lots of focus these days on having a positive attitude to life, one which I buy. However, I don’t subscribe to denying an emotion if it needs expression or ‘putting a happy face on’ when that isn’t our truth. I believe it’s far healthier to acknowledge the feeling. There’s a lot of openness around mental health which is wonderful. Rather than just putting a sticking plaster over a feeling we’re grappling with, it’s more and more acceptable to talk about it.

I believe that our emotions are like signposts guiding us through life.  If we have an emotional response to something, that emotion is information. At its’ simplest it may be showing us the experience is wonderful for us, or it may be showing us the opposite.

Don’t get me wrong I don’t believe in wallowing in emotions.  For me it’s about finding a balance. I believe in acknowledging and using our emotions like a guidance system, then allowing ourselves to move forwards, rather than getting stuck in a ‘Groundhog Day’ loop with them.

I’ve come to observe with my work how feelings we deny can be like a ‘Jack in a box’.  When a person or a situation comes along that taps into them ‘boingggggg’ the box opens and what can seem an out of proportion response to a situation can arise.  If we then judge our response to that situation as ‘bad’ we effectively push the Jack back into the box, ready for it to remerge another time. Often when we experience the same emotion and block it, it can be like pushing the Jack back into the box with a bit more gusto. So as the Jack is successively triggered it can start to emerge from the box with more and more ‘boingggggg’. 

If you’ve worked with me in a communication session, you’ll be familiar with me talking about the strength of an emotion or feeling that an animal is showing me.  You may recall me saying if the animal has lots of strong feelings these are what I’ll pick up first. Going back to the ‘Jack in a box’ analogy, if the emotion gets stronger each time the Jack is pushed back into the box then ironically what we’re denying gets stronger, the more we deny it. 

We can choose to view a ‘Jack in the box’ moment as an opportunity to move through old or stuck feelings and emotions. Over the years, guided by the animals I’ve worked with, I’ve used many different approaches to help shift old and stuck emotions, for myself and with human clients. When I am working in a communication session and this comes up, I will ask the animal to guide me with the best approach to help the person.

Aside from the way that I may be guided by an animal in a session I believe there are lots of approaches we can use to help us shift stuck emotions. It could be that simply acknowledging the feeling is enough. It may be necessary to express it in some way, perhaps drawing or writing a poem or singing at the top of your voice! Doing something physical may help, such as a run or walk in nature, or dancing, or drumming. Or if addressing it on your own doesn’t appeal, then you may wish to seek professional help.

There’s no one ‘right’ way and as you’ll know if you have worked with me, I always prescribe in all my work to ‘do what feels right for you’. I believe what’s as important as the ‘practice’ itself is your conscious intention for it. The approaches we use to help us clear out our old emotional baggage can also be helpful on an ongoing basis, to keep our emotions flowing in a healthy fashion.

When I’m reflecting on the power of being at peace with our feelings and emotions, I often come back to an experience I had some years ago in a local café. The art on the wall caught my interest. I was struck by the abstract images, full of colour and so vibrant, yet at the same time there were aspects of them that looked (and felt) quite dark to me. The owner of the café introduced me to the artist, who was a local there. As we chatted the artist told me he was a manic depressive. I was really quite surprised. I’m very sensitive to feelings, so I usually get a strong feeling sense of people, yet I hadn’t felt that aspect in him at all. In fact, I was finding him a calm person to be around, enjoying the conversation, discussing his artwork and his approach to life.

It was later on, when I was reflecting on the conversation, I came to understand why I felt so comfortable around him. It was because he was comfortable with himself.  He had accepted the aspect of himself that he classified as ‘manic depressive’, in fact he had found expression for it in his art. In embracing that aspect of himself he’d prevented it becoming a ‘Jack in a box’. Were he not ‘at peace’ with that aspect of himself, then I believe it’s likely I would have felt it, or some aspect of it, strongly during our conversation.

We all have light and shade, highs and lows, in acknowledging that and naturally allowing our full experience of emotions we are learning from our animal companions and accepting ourselves the way that they accept us.

Currently, on a daily basis, there’s tons of information coming at us and advice being offered about the situation. As a highly sensitive person, I’ve come to understand how an influx of a lot of information can overload me and my senses.  I also find it challenging when the collective consciousness has a ‘loud voice’ about something, as it does now. What can happen, in such situations, is that I lose my sense of self, my centre.

Such is the emotional climate right now, it can be easy for all of us, no matter what your degree of sensitivity is, to lose our centre. Spending time with the animals in our lives and in nature can be the antidote that can help bring us back into the present moment and to ‘our’ selves.

Yesterday as I approached my horse, grazing in his field, he paid me very little attention. That’s unusual, I normally get a greeting and he’ll come over to me.  Not so yesterday, and as I stood in the field with him, I understood that he was getting me to bring my energy down to his.  I stood with him and as I quietened myself, I could sense his loudest feeling was one of contentment. His message was ’This field is calm, join me in calmness in this field’.

So, I did, I stood with him. I felt the simplicity of the grazing experience and I let it fill my whole body.  I allowed myself to become really focussed on the earth beneath my feet and I imagined all the input that had overloaded me, that I didn’t need, flowing out of me and into the earth. As I stood there with him, I could feel myself returning to my centre.

This morning in the park whilst out walking our dog Chuck, I watched a spaniel puppy chase her ball and keep returning it to her person. This little pup just oozed love and I enjoyed her joyful performance of running and chasing as Chuck and I ambled along. What a delight to experience. Her person called across to me with exactly what I was thinking ‘thank goodness for dogs at times like this’, I agreed.

This afternoon the cats were in and out of the garden, alternating between lazing in the sunshine and enjoying ‘riding’ the gusts of wind. Such joy and exuberance at the capture of a leaf blowing in the wind, it was a delight to see.

As we move through this unchartered territory, I can heartily recommend immersing yourself in the world of the animals in your life. Take time with them and allow yourself to pause the outer world for a while. Fully engage with them, when you are with them. Let them help you to embrace the moment and be fully present with them. Enjoy a different view of life for a while, seeing things through their eyes and from their perspective. 

I am confident that in spending time with the animals in your life, you will start to feel better for it, and much more like yourself!

The owls are all hand reared and cared for by Sandra who runs Happisburgh Owls in North Norfolk. Sandra has such love and passion for these beautiful beings and an incredible wealth of knowledge about them. She works to share understanding of them with people and takes them to different places for educational purposes, as well as taking them to venues such as retirement homes, special schools and visually impaired groups where their amazing energy can leave lasting impressions.

On arrival at the centre I was taken into a space where Sandra had a number of owls gathered to meet the group of four of us that were there that day. My initial impression was how the owls all seemed very content, resting in their own individual areas.

A few moments in and I became captivated by these beautiful creatures looking back at me. There were such incredible energies emanating from each of them.

We settled down in the room as guided to by Sandra and her team and then Sandra talked for a while and shared some of her vast wealth of knowledge about these creatures. She then gave us advice on how to interact with them. We were each then introduced to each of them on a one to one basis. What an incredible privilege to have the opportunity to ‘just be’ with each one.

For me it was a very powerful reminder of intuitive communication at its simplest and purest. These individuals were so strong and clear in their energetic communication it was unmistakable. On holding each one it was as if I received an instant ‘download’ from each of them. It was an incredibly moving and humbling experience.

It was easy to see how, without the use of words, but purely through energetic communication these beings could be such powerful teachers and how valuable they could be in the places that Sandra took them to. As I held and connected with each one I found that they each had something different to share and impart. As I look back on that day, whilst writing this blog, I can sense their individual and beautiful energies once again.

It’s hard to do justice to such beautiful energies through the use of words. It doesn’t feel right to unveil their special messages through this blog. I believe the power is in experiencing them first hand. Indeed, aspects of what they convey will be unique to the individual they are interacting with. Yet this blog would be incomplete without sharing some of the beauty of my experience of that day. So here are a couple of pictures and I’m sure you will be able to sense from my differing reactions the contrasting energies and messages these two owls were conveying to me !

It was the most incredible experience and the energy and magic of these creatures touched me so very deeply.

A wonderful reminder of the power and beauty of non verbal communication.

Looking back, I see that in her own way, Tess had been ‘nudging’ me to recognise that there was resistance in me, to the change that she was undergoing. Once I’d awakened to this, it allowed me to acknowledge the unexpressed emotions, and let them come up and start to clear.  As they did I began to feel Tess more strongly.  I realised that this suppressed emotion had been hampering our connection.

From this clearer space I knew Tess was reminding me to be present with her.  Many of you will know how I’m passionate about ‘being present’ (also called ‘being in the moment’, or ‘mindfulness’), and its’ ability to quieten our minds.  Put simply it’s about engaging all of our senses in whatever it is we are experiencing, in that moment.  If this idea is new to you, and you’re interested to find out more, you might like to read my blogs ‘being in the moment‘ and ‘a gift for our animal companions‘.

As I sat with Tess, fully present, I could feel what I’d always felt from her, a ‘powerfully reassuring’ energy.  My fears faded, I knew she was ok.  I realised I’d been allowing my mind to focus on her ageing body, and my fears about that, rather than feeling into her and her truth.

Tess had always had a sense of deep wisdom about her.  One day sitting with her, she reminded me that from this place of deep wisdom she felt no fear, instead ‘totally supported by life and the Universe’.  The sense of ‘support’ from something ‘bigger’ is something I’ve come across quite consistently in my communications with our animal companions. I’ve found they have a strong sense of a ‘bigger picture’. I believe it’s because they are in tune with the earth and also feel a connection to something ‘bigger’ – whatever you wish to call that, God, Source, Universal energy or other. They also feel and know that we are all interconnected. Whilst in some instances the ‘noise’ of life may dampen these aspects, they seem to retain an innate sense of these connections and a knowing of their importance.

As humans we have a tendency towards feeling separation, rather than interconnectedness, with each other. Our fast paced, technology fuelled lifestyles, with the high demands we place on ourselves, can result in us feeling disconnected from the planet we live on, without a sense of connection to anything ‘bigger’ than us.

Because animals retain a bigger picture perspective they experience their lives in a greater context. If you’ve experienced a time when suddenly you have understood the bigger picture surrounding something you will know how powerful and transformational it can be.  Often when we have that ‘aha’ moment we are able to feel more at peace with the situation.  When I sat with Tess, I could feel a sense of expansiveness and connectedness (difficult to convey in words) with everything. I’d describe it as similar to the feeling when I look up at the stars at night. She was reminding me of the transformational power of this view point in response to fear based emotions.

Tess had never been overtly expressive with her affections, not big on sitting on laps or being held, yet she consistently gave out a steady, gentle feeling of love. In these moments of pure presence with her, I could feel into her amazing reservoir of love. One day sitting with her, she took me back to an experience we had had earlier in the year.

She’d had an overnight stay at the vets for some help with her fluid levels. As I drove out of the vets’ car park I experienced an intense wave of emotion about leaving her there and I burst into tears. Then I started to feel an amazing energy surrounding me and the most immense sense of love and compassion. I knew she was showing me that although she wasn’t with me physically, her love remained with me. She was reminding me that she was much more than her physical form. The love and compassion I felt transformed my tears and sadness into a feeling of deep inner peace. It was such a powerful and memorable experience, reminding me of the power of being in a space of love, allowing ourselves to receive love and seeing through the eyes of love.

Through these wonderful last months that I spent with Tess I was privileged to be able to see the experience of her transition through her eyes. As I felt her become less and less attached to her physical body I knew without a doubt that she was at peace with this. She had surrendered, she was flowing with the change and she was letting go with love.

It was an immensely powerful period for me and I feel blessed to have had this experience with her.  She reminded me of the power of being fully present in a situation and how it allows us to experience it for what it truly is, free from past patterns and future fears. She reminded that there is always a bigger picture at play, even if we are struggling to see it, and to trust in it and the Universe. She reminded me that whatever we are experiencing, staying in a space of love can help us.

With her metamorphosis Tess brought me a simple and powerful message about change……

Being present, recognising and trusting there is a bigger picture at play and staying in love can help us move through change with greater ease.

Over the time I’ve been doing this work I have come to understand there is something that all animals universally love.  It’s a gift you can give them that doesn’t cost a penny. I’d like to share the ‘secret’ with you now!

The inspiration to write this blog came when I was gardening at the weekend. I love gardening. I find I lose all track of time when I’m pottering outside. When we are so immersed in something that we lose track of time it’s a great example of ‘being in the moment’.

If you’ve worked with me you’re likely to have heard me use the phrase ‘being in the moment’. Gathering momentum in national awareness ‘being in the moment’ or ‘in the now’ is also more commonly referred to as ‘mindfulness’. Essentially it’s when all of our senses are fully engaged in whatever we are doing.  In this state, focussed on the moment in hand, our mind chatter quietens as past and future are no longer our focus.

I’ve come to understand that when we are in this state it’s a really lovely experience for our animal companions. So why is that? Animals sense the world through feelings.  This means that they pick up on our feelings, or what I refer to as our energetic broadcast. When we are ‘in the moment’ our mind quietens and so do our feelings. Our energetic broadcast quietens as a result.

I believe that we and our animal companions all have our own natural rhythm and ‘being in the moment’ helps us to return to it.  When we create this energetic space for ourselves by quietening our minds we help our animal companions to return to their natural rhythm too.

When I’ve been working in communication sessions or sending Reiki, I will often come out of my office to find the feline family in various relaxed poses around the house. My work requires me to be ‘in the moment’ and they’ve been enjoying the benefits of me being so!

There are many different approaches you can use. I describe one in my blog ‘being in the moment’. Like anything new the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

Alternatively, a really simple starting point is by doing something you love. Choose a time when you can be free from interruptions and a place you won’t be disturbed, then turn your phone off, and truly commit to your chosen activity for 20 minutes. Allow it to become your entire focus.

Most of us enjoy a hobby from time to time. Often when we do so we have the radio or the TV on or our phone by our side, all of which serve to distract us.  The essential difference here is that your activity becomes your sole focus, as if there is only you and it on the planet!

I find that gardening and pottery work really well for me. For you it could be drawing, sewing, painting, cooking, singing, playing the piano, running, anything that you can fully immerse yourself in. If you find your mind wandering off, bring it back to whatever it is you are doing by really taking in the detail of what you’re doing, with as many of your senses as possible.

Your animal companions don’t need to be with you for them to feel the benefit of this. That’s because our energetic broadcast travels distance. Once you’ve got a sense of how it feels to be in this ‘state’ then you might want to try it around your animal companions and see how they respond. There are lots of ways to do this, but the guiding principle is that you are focussed on something with all your senses, such that you mind quietens. Practising being in this state whilst out walking your dog, for example, can be a lovely experience for both of you.

I believe that spending time ‘being in the moment’ is a lovely gift we can share with our animal companions. What’s more it doesn’t cost a penny, unless of course you have an expensive hobby, just a little time…. focus …and some practice!

When we take some time to ‘be in the moment’ our animal companions benefit too.

It’s for this reason I believe forgiveness is a powerful choice. When we don’t forgive ourselves or others, part of our ‘energetic communication’ gets locked in the old energy of a situation. Although we may not be aware of it at a conscious level we are ‘broadcasting’ this energy.  Whilst we may have tried to move on with the individuals involved, it’s likely that unresolved feelings are in the background, and so are influencing our interactions with them. This ‘broadcast’ also can influence the way we interact with other people and situations and we can find ourselves cycling around with similar experiences.  This is why forgiving others for a situation and also pretty crucially, ourselves too, for our role in it, is so powerful.  It releases the past and allows a new unfolding.

I believe that in any one moment we are all doing the best that we can. It’s easy to look back at an experience with hindsight. Judging an old experience with new insight doesn’t make sense, if we had that insight in that moment we would have acted differently. We did the best we could and so did the others involved and allowing ourselves and others that compassion allows us to move on.

Writing down who you forgive and what for, or lighting a candle in forgiveness of someone or a situation are very simple acts to set your intention. I love using an ancient Hawaiian saying called Ho’ oponopono. You say it out loud, as if the person was in front of you ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you’.  I believe that it’s important to not get too hung up in rituals though, because what is fundamental is making the choice to forgive. Having made the choice you have set your intention and it can be as simple as that.

If you find the concept of forgiveness difficult why not experiment with something ‘small’ and see how you feel after and what unfolds. As you feel the impact the choice has you may be inspired to move to some ‘bigger’ examples.  As always it’s important you do what feels right for you.

The choice to forgive allows new possibilities

Every animal has its own unique sensitivity and response to sound like we do. In our family this is illustrated by the mixed response that the vacuum cleaner gets with the cats ! Some dash off to find a quiet place at the sound of it coming out of the cupboard. Others carry on snoozing in their favourite spot and don’t twitch a whisker whilst it is used around them. Much to my amusement one of the boys follows it around, watching it with intrigue, as if ready to pounce!

How we respond to a situation can also impact how an animal responds. This is because animals are constantly sensing our feelings. Take the situation with the cats and the vacuum for example. By responding to one of the cats that is hiding by seeking them out with ‘are you ok? don’t be afraid‘ I can worsen things. This is because I am adding my feelings of concern or fear, about how they have responded, to the situation. The animal receives this feeling from me as a confirmation that there is something to be fearful of.  Their response may be to retreat further into their hiding place, to which I may respond to with concern. Again they feel this concern and it fuels their reaction. This is what I call a ‘fear fire’. The feelings pass back and forth between the person and the animal, growing in intensity as they do.

We experience this passing back and forth of feelings in our interactions with people on a day to day basis, although we are sometimes not aware of it. We might use the phrase their ‘mood rubbed off on me’ if how we are feeling changes after having spoken with someone.

So with the situation with the cat that has gone into hiding if I just let them be and leave them I am not fueling their feelings. Without my involvement or reaction to the situation I am not adding my ‘fear to the fire’.  If I am ok with the situation they will feel that. In addition by actively choosing peaceful feelings it can help them to relax and let go of their fear. In such a situation peaceful feelings can be like pouring water on the ‘fear fire’.

Feelings can be felt over distances. That’s why you sometimes know that someone is about to call or text you.  So you don’t have to be in the same room as your animals for them to benefit from your peaceful feelings.

So here are a few suggestions you may wish to use with your animal companions on bonfire night:

• Make sure there is somewhere that they can go to feel ‘safe’ if they choose to. If they go there then let them be. Avoid fussing them.
• Be aware of how you are feeling and the feelings you are sending out.
• Practice allowing yourself to feel peaceful – for a simple technique check out my blog on ‘being in the moment’.
• Choose messages that are supportive and positive such as ‘all is well’,  ‘we are all calm and peaceful’.
• Change your focus from the fireworks and noises to something that you can become engrossed in – music you enjoy, a film you love, a hobby that really engages you.

With awareness of how we are feeling and by choosing to project supportive and positive feelings we can help our animal companions (and us) to have a calmer bonfire night!

Very often in our busy lives we are only partly present with what we are doing. Our mind wanders ahead to future events or lingers on a moment in the past that is troubling us.  Being in the moment can allow us to feel a greater sense of peace and fulfilment.  It can also enable us to have a clearer connection with our animal companions.

Can you recall a time when you were having a really enjoyable chat with a friend?  You were listening intently to everything they said and probably lost all track of time.  At the end of the conversation it’s likely you felt energised, connected to your friend and engaged with life.  Contrast this with meeting with a friend, but feeling distracted by something you must do when you get home.  Your mind wanders in and out of the conversation and the time seems to pass by slowly.  Once home, having dealt with what was concerning you, you realise that you didn’t enjoy your time with your friend like you usually do.  Most of us have had both experiences.  The former is how it feels when we are being or living in the moment.

Being in the moment is an essential part of working as an animal communicator. Working with animals in this state enables us to make a clear connection with them.  On the animal communication workshops I run I share a variety of techniques to achieve this.  For animals it’s natural. It’s the way they approach life.  As humans we are less practiced in it, yet like anything the more often we do it the easier it becomes.

There are different approaches.  I’m going to introduce you to a simple one in this blog.

If you are trying this out for the first time then it can be powerful to use nature as your classroom.  I find being in nature, a great place to try new things.  If you can’t be outside then perhaps you can find a space by a window where you can see outside.

Find somewhere that you can feel comfortable either seated or standing. The exercise will take about 5 minutes. You won’t be moving around so ensure you are warm enough.  To start we will use three of your senses – sight, hearing and touch.  Once you get the feel of what you are doing you can try using your other senses.  You will soon learn for yourself which are the strongest for taking you into the present moment.

So first we will use sight. Choose a subject to focus on.  Ideally, the smaller the better.  It may be the petals of a flower, a leaf on a tree, a stone.  It doesn’t matter what it is, just something you can comfortably focus on.  Place your complete focus on this item and keep your gaze on it.  Hold your gaze on this for about a minute (doesn’t need to be exact so no need to time !).

Next choose something you can hear to focus on.  It might be the sound of a bird, the wind in the trees, it could be a buzz of traffic from a distant road, it doesn’t matter.  Again give this sound your complete focus for a minute.

Then finally find something you can touch. You can pick something up and hold it in your hand or you could choose to focus on feeling your feet on the ground or your legs on the seat if you are seated.  Again give complete focus to this for a minute.

Now you’re ready to bring all three senses in together. So focusing on what you chose to see, listen to and touch all at the same time.  Do this for a couple of minutes.  At first you may find some of your senses drift in and out.  That’s fine.  Do your best to focus on all three.  Over time it becomes easier.

This is a very simple way to experience being in the moment.  As we are individuals we will all have our own unique experience.  A common feeling people experience is one of calm.

With this approach you are using your senses to anchor you into the experience and the present moment.  Using one sense alone can form an anchor.  Using three makes for a very strong anchor that can have a powerful effect of quietening even the busiest of minds.

If thoughts come into your head that is fine.  Don’t fight with them.  Just say ‘hello’ to them, then do your best to let them go.  Imagine them floating away like a balloon. Write them down if it helps you to release them.  You will find the more you accept that thoughts may come into your head rather than resist them the more easily your mind will settle down.  For many of us our mind is not used to being quiet.  With practice our minds get more comfortable with it.

If you wish you can build being in the moment practices this into your day to day activities. I find it has really powerful benefits to do so.

Being in the moment is not only an essential aspect of communicating with animals, it helps us live a more fulfilling life. 

So why is that? It’s because nature calls upon all of my senses to become fully engrossed in the experience and distracts me from other thoughts. You may have heard the phrase ‘being in the moment’ or in the ‘now’. This is what is meant by this.

Being ‘in the moment’ or the ‘now’ is something our animal companions do naturally. If you watch a dog when it’s out on a walk it is using all of its’ senses. Watch how alert they are to their surroundings. They may pause to sniff when they catch a whiff of something that’s interesting. Can you remember when you last stopped to sniff a flower you walked past? We don’t do this often as our minds tend to be elsewhere.

When we are in the moment we are fully focussed on the experience we are having. It means we are not thinking about the future or the past. We are not running through the conversation we had with someone earlier and whether we should have said something different. We are not planning what we are going to eat that evening or the list of jobs that we have for the weekend. For that moment we are fully and completely absorbing the experience we are having. With this immersion comes the space in which we can feel peace and calm, as we are free from worries of the past or concerns about the future.

We can apply being in the moment to anything from washing the dishes to talking a walk. It may be difficult to imagine this, but with practice we can bring it into more aspects of our daily life. The result can be a greater feeling of peace and calm in our lives.

Nature calls on all of our senses and so it provides a great training ground for being in the moment. Last week I saw a field full of poppies and cornflowers so vibrant I had to stop to catch my breath and pinch myself to check I wasn’t dreaming. I find when I start to examine things in nature closely their beauty becomes even more apparent.

I love dragonflies; I find there’s something magical about them. When I study them closely I am in awe of their intricate bodies and delicate wings. The sounds and scents of nature alert my senses too; the gentle buzzing of bees, wind rustling in the trees and the scent from jasmine on a warm summer evening as you brush past it.

You will have your own way of experiencing nature. Whatever the magic in it for you, it’s a great way of experimenting with being in the moment. Nature provides such rich stimulus for our senses. The more of our senses that we use, the fuller the experience we can have and the more ‘in the moment’ we are.

So, next time you are in the garden, park or countryside, you may want to pause for a moment and allow yourself to fully engage your senses and see how it feels.

Photo of dog enjoying a walk by Bev Lloyd-Roberts

Have you ever had a feeling that you have found difficult to describe or to put into words? Have you been in a situation where you have wanted to explain something to someone and your message has been completely lost in translation? Despite your best efforts they just haven’t understood what you wanted to convey? Perhaps you could picture what it was, but you couldn’t find the words to bring the image to life? Have you ever been so grateful to someone or for something and found it difficult to find words enough to convey your gratitude? It’s likely that most of us at some time in our lives will have found ourselves in a ‘lost for words’ situation.

Animals don’t need to find the words. They communicate with one another and us with feelings and images. For example, when you are thinking of taking your dog for a walk and next you know they are stood by the door. Perhaps you have been thinking of opening a tin of tuna for your cat? Then they suddenly appear from nowhere, looking at you expectantly. In both instances they have sensed what you are thinking by picking up on your feelings and the images that these feelings create in your mind.

 The beautiful thing about this level of communication is the transparency of it. There’s no ‘cover up’. Our feelings speak ‘our truth’. It’s why working at this level with animals is so powerful.

Sometimes it can be hard for us to face our feelings. Sometimes consciously we will put on a brave face to the world in an attempt to hide our feelings. Other times there may be feelings in our sub conscious that we are not aware of at a conscious level.

Animals can feel these different levels. It’s why sometimes it can feel like they understand us when no one else does.

Animals see beyond the words and can help us find our own truth.

As I reflected on the story as I ran, I realised that Aesop’s fables are an example of how animals have long been used in teaching. It appears that they have been around since about the 6th Century BC – amazing!

The characters of Aesop’s fables are usually animals that act and talk like people, yet retain their animal traits. Each tale has a message in it, like a parable may have. In the hare and the tortoise the slow but persistent tortoise wins a race against the fast but lazy hare.

As I sat down to write my first blog about ‘animal inspiration’ this seemed a great starting place. Particularly, as the fables tap into a big passion and belief of mine about how we can learn from animals.

When I started working as an animal communicator my intent was to help people and animals. I had experienced first hand the positive effects that communication between an animal and person could bring. I was passionate about helping others to experience the same, to promote a better understanding, help resolve difficulties and create harmony.

What I didn’t appreciate as I set out on this path was how my whole perspective on life would start to change. I also didn’t appreciate how much I would learn and grow from the experience of working with animals. I certainly didn’t anticipate that I would receive such wisdom from animals in the communications and that I would and find it so valuable in my own life.

Through my own experience with many different animals I have come to see and believe that they can help us so much. They can help us be more aware of our feelings and to be more in balance in our daily lives. What’s more is that they have such a strong desire to help us.

So perhaps it’s not so strange that Aesop’s fables about animals provided wisdom and guidance on life. Back then in the 6th century BC on some level it was seen that animals could help us.

So next time you feel a need to rush or feel impatient about something, as probably I was subconsciously this morning, here’s a reminder of the morale from the hare and tortoise!

Slow and steady wins the race